So often in my life when things get tough; I am feeling confused, or as if nothing seems to be making sense or going right I find myself wanting to pull away. Pull away from God, from family, and from friends. Just wanting to sink right down in to that deep dark hole, where no one seems to find me or knows what is truly going on inside of me.
Ruth 1:16 says, " Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.
This is what Ruth is saying to Naomi as Naomi is urging her to go back to what is familiar and what feels right. As I read this, I find myself in this story. I find myself hearing God speak to me through all those times when I want to run.
He is saying to me, "Kala, don't run. Hold on. Hold on to me. Hold on to your Faith. Do not turn to what is familiar, turn to Me. I will work this out for good. Don't lose hope. Press forward. Pray. Pray BIG. Pray expecting Me to do the unexpected. Pray expecting Me to change lives and conquer ALL. PRAY."
Does any of this sound familiar to you?
So, instead of urging God to leave in the midst of pain, heartache, and confusion, I push to pray harder and listen more. Seeking Him in all areas and in each direction I walk. I find myself clinging to those around me that He has blessed me with, to hold me accountable and love me despite my imperfections.
It is not easy and it absolutely does not always end the way I would have envisioned, but what I can always HOLD ONTO is that God's plans will always prevail and will always end for His good, His glory, and how He sees fit. All we have to do is truly HOLD tight to Him.
This reading today confirmed to me exactly why I came up with and felt led to blog with the name, "Blessed and Messy." My life is messy. Your life is messy. My life can me hard and complicated, just like everyone Else's lives. But, my friends, we are forever blessed through our pain, our brokenness, and imperfections because of HIM!
~Hold on tight, never losing sight of His promises~
Blessedandmessy.com
Monday, June 26, 2017
Thursday, June 22, 2017
We Are Created in His Image...Work Hard, Love Yourself!
I am NOT blogging for your approval. I am NOT blogging to argue. I am NOT blogging for compliments.
I am blogging today for those of you who think the only way to become successful, feel good, or look good is through expensive programs or materialistic things.
Have I turned to clothes, makeup, and programs in hopes of looking and feeling better??
You bet I have and let me tell you... I NEVER have found it there. All those "things" left me wanting more. Feeling more insecure and never feeling complete.
The older I get the more and more comfortable I am feeling in my own skin. Why, you ask? My "why," is God! The more time I spend is His Word and surrounded by believers, the more I see just the way He created me. The imperfect, full of flaws, cellulite, and irrational emotions... ME!!!
God tells me this...
Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in His own image"
Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Roman 12:12 Do not be conformed by the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Hard work, determination, water, good eating...ALL go a long way, but nothing is complete without loving yourself totally and completely just the way He made you.
Sure some need programs to get a jump start, but in the end it ALWAYS boils down to a complete lifestyle change from the inside, out. No program, clothing item or accessory, makeup, or other individual will ever give you the results you are looking for.
Accountability is crucial to our Christian walk. Honesty and truth is crucial to our relationships. This same concept follows us to our body image.
I Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.
Our bodies are His.
What we "feed" our little girls can be detrimental to their image. Are we showing and teaching them their image comes from all the "Worldly" things or are we teaching them it comes from God? I have a little girl, who sadly struggles with this. Through that process it has helped me to grow to love myself more and more and be more conscious in showing and teaching her that beauty only comes from within. ALL that other stuff, sure looks good and feels good, but it's always covering up what God wants others to see....HIM.
I am guilty of looking in to and researching many programs and today, I am giving you my infomercial...
No weight loss supplement, No starvation, No Jenny Craig, No Beachbody, No Thrive, No Military Diet, No Keto, No Nutrisystem. Only a PURE mindset change, hard work, and acceptance to love my flaws!
9 months PostPartum with baby #4 and I feel GREAT!!! Sure, I am tired some, but who isn't with 5 kids!!
No make up... No filter... No program... I work out to feel stronger and to be a better me. Ladies, it is possible and I am willing to help or hold anyone accountable to just being YOU!
I am blogging today for those of you who think the only way to become successful, feel good, or look good is through expensive programs or materialistic things.
Have I turned to clothes, makeup, and programs in hopes of looking and feeling better??
You bet I have and let me tell you... I NEVER have found it there. All those "things" left me wanting more. Feeling more insecure and never feeling complete.
The older I get the more and more comfortable I am feeling in my own skin. Why, you ask? My "why," is God! The more time I spend is His Word and surrounded by believers, the more I see just the way He created me. The imperfect, full of flaws, cellulite, and irrational emotions... ME!!!
God tells me this...
Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in His own image"
Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Roman 12:12 Do not be conformed by the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Hard work, determination, water, good eating...ALL go a long way, but nothing is complete without loving yourself totally and completely just the way He made you.
Sure some need programs to get a jump start, but in the end it ALWAYS boils down to a complete lifestyle change from the inside, out. No program, clothing item or accessory, makeup, or other individual will ever give you the results you are looking for.
Accountability is crucial to our Christian walk. Honesty and truth is crucial to our relationships. This same concept follows us to our body image.
I Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.
Our bodies are His.
What we "feed" our little girls can be detrimental to their image. Are we showing and teaching them their image comes from all the "Worldly" things or are we teaching them it comes from God? I have a little girl, who sadly struggles with this. Through that process it has helped me to grow to love myself more and more and be more conscious in showing and teaching her that beauty only comes from within. ALL that other stuff, sure looks good and feels good, but it's always covering up what God wants others to see....HIM.
I am guilty of looking in to and researching many programs and today, I am giving you my infomercial...
No weight loss supplement, No starvation, No Jenny Craig, No Beachbody, No Thrive, No Military Diet, No Keto, No Nutrisystem. Only a PURE mindset change, hard work, and acceptance to love my flaws!
9 months PostPartum with baby #4 and I feel GREAT!!! Sure, I am tired some, but who isn't with 5 kids!!
No make up... No filter... No program... I work out to feel stronger and to be a better me. Ladies, it is possible and I am willing to help or hold anyone accountable to just being YOU!
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
"A Terrible MOM"
To the Grandma who called me "A Terrible Mom,"
For the past week I have replayed your words to me over and over. I can see your face and I can feel your anger as you yelled, "YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MOM." I was honestly completely caught off guard and taken away by those hurtful words. I can't explain just how bad that pierced my heart and has made me really look at myself negatively.
I have found myself examining my every word and my every move and for that I want to say to you, THANK YOU!
Being a mom of 5 is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but yet it too has been one of the most rewarding things. Never could I have ever imagined loving these 5 faces as much as do. They frustrate me on a daily basis. They overwhelm me many times a day. BUT, they make me smile, laugh, and love myself MORE!
Last week I watched my son being disrespectful to authority over and over. To me, that will NEVER be okay. I watched him "TRY," as you said to me hit that ball very far and hard. If you listened closely I hollered and cheered very loudly for his great hit and effort. However, that effort and "TRYING," turned again into disrespect and defiance toward his coach, his authority at that time.
I heard his coach holler at him over and over to stop. I saw my child make eye contact with him over and over as he stopped, then decided to continue on. Due to his decision to not listen to his coach, who was only trying to help him to become better at this sport, he got tagged out at home and fell down.
If my child was truly hurt he would have gotten my sympathy. BUT, my child was not hurt physically. My child's pride was hurt and for that when I told him, " I don't feel sorry for you," I do not apologize for.
I have NEVER proclaimed to be the best mom or a perfect mom. In fact, I am I guess what you consider a "TERRIBLE MOM." I expect a lot out of my kids. I expect them to be respectful to authority and respectful to their peers. I expect them to be kind to others and to love them regardless of the differences. I expect them to fall short and I expect them to disobey me. But, that does not change my unconditional love for them and because of that love there are consequences to behavior.
I am not my kids best friend. I am their MOM, the one who teaches them to respect and be better. The one who explains why I say the things I do at times and the one who too has to apologize over and over for hurtful things and ask for their forgiveness when I have overstepped. I too fall short.
My child did not get my sympathy last week for being disrespectful to authority and never will.
So, thank you again for helping me to see just how important not only are my words to my children, but also thank you for again showing me I am only trying to teach them what God's Word tells us to teach.
Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and mother.
1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, you are younger, be subject to authority.
Hebrews 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to them.
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice, and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.
That night my child not only apologized to his coach for his behavior, but also to me, his MOM. We talked about the importance of respect toward authority. We talked about the importance of being on a team. We talked about how our teammates count on us to listen and do the best we can for them, not ourselves. We talked about what God tells us to do. I told my child over and over just how much I loved him. We thanked God together for his talent and asked God to help him to always use it for His glory alone. I explained my words to him and apologized if it hurt his feelings, but again assured him the disrespect is never okay.
Thank you Grandma for making me see what I have been called to do.
Sincerely,
The Terrible Mom
For the past week I have replayed your words to me over and over. I can see your face and I can feel your anger as you yelled, "YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MOM." I was honestly completely caught off guard and taken away by those hurtful words. I can't explain just how bad that pierced my heart and has made me really look at myself negatively.
I have found myself examining my every word and my every move and for that I want to say to you, THANK YOU!
Being a mom of 5 is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but yet it too has been one of the most rewarding things. Never could I have ever imagined loving these 5 faces as much as do. They frustrate me on a daily basis. They overwhelm me many times a day. BUT, they make me smile, laugh, and love myself MORE!
Last week I watched my son being disrespectful to authority over and over. To me, that will NEVER be okay. I watched him "TRY," as you said to me hit that ball very far and hard. If you listened closely I hollered and cheered very loudly for his great hit and effort. However, that effort and "TRYING," turned again into disrespect and defiance toward his coach, his authority at that time.
I heard his coach holler at him over and over to stop. I saw my child make eye contact with him over and over as he stopped, then decided to continue on. Due to his decision to not listen to his coach, who was only trying to help him to become better at this sport, he got tagged out at home and fell down.
If my child was truly hurt he would have gotten my sympathy. BUT, my child was not hurt physically. My child's pride was hurt and for that when I told him, " I don't feel sorry for you," I do not apologize for.
I have NEVER proclaimed to be the best mom or a perfect mom. In fact, I am I guess what you consider a "TERRIBLE MOM." I expect a lot out of my kids. I expect them to be respectful to authority and respectful to their peers. I expect them to be kind to others and to love them regardless of the differences. I expect them to fall short and I expect them to disobey me. But, that does not change my unconditional love for them and because of that love there are consequences to behavior.
I am not my kids best friend. I am their MOM, the one who teaches them to respect and be better. The one who explains why I say the things I do at times and the one who too has to apologize over and over for hurtful things and ask for their forgiveness when I have overstepped. I too fall short.
My child did not get my sympathy last week for being disrespectful to authority and never will.
So, thank you again for helping me to see just how important not only are my words to my children, but also thank you for again showing me I am only trying to teach them what God's Word tells us to teach.
Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and mother.
1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, you are younger, be subject to authority.
Hebrews 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to them.
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice, and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.
That night my child not only apologized to his coach for his behavior, but also to me, his MOM. We talked about the importance of respect toward authority. We talked about the importance of being on a team. We talked about how our teammates count on us to listen and do the best we can for them, not ourselves. We talked about what God tells us to do. I told my child over and over just how much I loved him. We thanked God together for his talent and asked God to help him to always use it for His glory alone. I explained my words to him and apologized if it hurt his feelings, but again assured him the disrespect is never okay.
Thank you Grandma for making me see what I have been called to do.
Sincerely,
The Terrible Mom
Monday, March 27, 2017
The Gift From A Friend
Insecurities...
Such a hard thing to overcome...
For me I have let my insecurities overshadow most of my life.
Never truly feeling good enough. Never truly feeling pretty enough. Never truly feeling smart enough. Always second guessing my every move, my every answer given, or response spoken.
Always doubting if God indeed has called me to do something, because even though I know He equips me I doubt that equipping. I doubt His love for me at times, I doubt His plans, I doubt why He has called me on to different paths in life.
Is is really going to work out all for His good and His glory?
For a very long time I felt God tugging at my heart to start something, but for the longest time I couldn't quite place my finger on just what that something was. I found myself reaching at all things to figure it out. Starting many things, but then quitting them. God, what is it that you are calling me too?
Yes, I am a very blessed and messy mom of 4 handsome homegrown boys, and 1 beautiful God given Princess through adoption and to most this is all our heart desires. But for me, this tugging of something else and something more wouldn't stop.
After recently adopting our daughter and giving birth to our surprise baby boy I found God in a way I hadn't seen in a while.
For way too long I was blinded by anger, bitterness, pride, selfishness, depression, anxiety. You name the feeling, it was there. Some days it came at such a force I had to run to my closet just to gather myself. I didn't know who I was anymore. Where was God?
You know what? He was there. He never leaves me. He never forsakes me. He loves me for me. The angry me, the bitter me, the happy me. Regardless of my day or my emotion He was and is still there. Waiting. Waiting for me to allow Him to work through my brokenness. To show others that I too fall short and that I too am in desperate need for a Savior.
Through this journey I felt led to start a Ladies Ministry. I need ladies. I need fellowship. I need accountability from other Christian Sisters. I need to share Him with others and in return for them to share Him with me.
And you see... Today, that is just what happened. As I have been gearing up for our first Ladies Night of Worship I admit... My insecurities and doubt have once again flooded my mind. Am I really adequate to be leading these ladies God? Am I following your plan? God, I don't know what to say? God, are you there? God...
I have found myself over the past 6 months of having this ministry wanting to quit many times. Why? Because I have once again allowed Satan to have reigns on my insecurities instead of trusting the Lord God Almighty.
As I was sitting on my bed singing and worshipping one of my boys brought me in an Amazon box. I'll be honest, I immediately panicked. I have felt lately like I have no clue if I'm coming or going or what I am doing most days. As I was opening the box I kept thinking I must have ordered something and couldn't remember. Immediate guilt flooded because right now for our family finances are not the strongest. How could I have been so selfish.
Then, I see this beautiful green bag and inside it a journal wrapped up. I didn't remember ordering this, but then the way my mind has been lately, maybe I did.
I then flip it over to find a note that reads...
Because you are such a blessing to me!!!
Full on tears flow as I send this amazing friend a message thanking her for the gift. Not only that, but tears were falling because in a moment when I was starting to doubt and worry and question, God opened my eyes through her to see that He is in control and that He indeed will be glorified in all we do!
My friends, we so desperately need each other! There is no doubt in my mind that God placed this special friend in my life for many reasons, but that in a time when she felt she needed me I too needed her and together we always need HIM!!!
Such a hard thing to overcome...
For me I have let my insecurities overshadow most of my life.
Never truly feeling good enough. Never truly feeling pretty enough. Never truly feeling smart enough. Always second guessing my every move, my every answer given, or response spoken.
Always doubting if God indeed has called me to do something, because even though I know He equips me I doubt that equipping. I doubt His love for me at times, I doubt His plans, I doubt why He has called me on to different paths in life.
Is is really going to work out all for His good and His glory?
For a very long time I felt God tugging at my heart to start something, but for the longest time I couldn't quite place my finger on just what that something was. I found myself reaching at all things to figure it out. Starting many things, but then quitting them. God, what is it that you are calling me too?
Yes, I am a very blessed and messy mom of 4 handsome homegrown boys, and 1 beautiful God given Princess through adoption and to most this is all our heart desires. But for me, this tugging of something else and something more wouldn't stop.
After recently adopting our daughter and giving birth to our surprise baby boy I found God in a way I hadn't seen in a while.
For way too long I was blinded by anger, bitterness, pride, selfishness, depression, anxiety. You name the feeling, it was there. Some days it came at such a force I had to run to my closet just to gather myself. I didn't know who I was anymore. Where was God?
You know what? He was there. He never leaves me. He never forsakes me. He loves me for me. The angry me, the bitter me, the happy me. Regardless of my day or my emotion He was and is still there. Waiting. Waiting for me to allow Him to work through my brokenness. To show others that I too fall short and that I too am in desperate need for a Savior.
Through this journey I felt led to start a Ladies Ministry. I need ladies. I need fellowship. I need accountability from other Christian Sisters. I need to share Him with others and in return for them to share Him with me.
And you see... Today, that is just what happened. As I have been gearing up for our first Ladies Night of Worship I admit... My insecurities and doubt have once again flooded my mind. Am I really adequate to be leading these ladies God? Am I following your plan? God, I don't know what to say? God, are you there? God...
I have found myself over the past 6 months of having this ministry wanting to quit many times. Why? Because I have once again allowed Satan to have reigns on my insecurities instead of trusting the Lord God Almighty.
As I was sitting on my bed singing and worshipping one of my boys brought me in an Amazon box. I'll be honest, I immediately panicked. I have felt lately like I have no clue if I'm coming or going or what I am doing most days. As I was opening the box I kept thinking I must have ordered something and couldn't remember. Immediate guilt flooded because right now for our family finances are not the strongest. How could I have been so selfish.
Then, I see this beautiful green bag and inside it a journal wrapped up. I didn't remember ordering this, but then the way my mind has been lately, maybe I did.
I then flip it over to find a note that reads...
Because you are such a blessing to me!!!
Full on tears flow as I send this amazing friend a message thanking her for the gift. Not only that, but tears were falling because in a moment when I was starting to doubt and worry and question, God opened my eyes through her to see that He is in control and that He indeed will be glorified in all we do!
My friends, we so desperately need each other! There is no doubt in my mind that God placed this special friend in my life for many reasons, but that in a time when she felt she needed me I too needed her and together we always need HIM!!!
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