New Mama of 5

I want to start this off by saying I serve an amazingly, AWESOME, mind-boggling, all-powerful, and all-knowing, limitless God!

I am now 2 weeks in to being a Mama of 5 kids! YIKES! I'm still not sure who really does this! Ha!

As most of you know we recently celebrated the birth of our 4th homegrown boy and have 1 beautiful princess through the gift of adoption! I want to tell you the past 2 weeks have truly been a blessing to all of us.  This new baby has brought more life and smiles in our home than we have seen or felt in months.

You see for months, I have been selfish. I have been depressed, overwhelmed, fearful, worried, and doubtful that God truly knew what He was doing with our family. Starting over was not what I wanted to do and many times I found myself in tears and overwhelmed with this idea. I love our kids, but the chaos that we live in is tiring and draining and in my heart and mind, I was DONE.

Sure, as a little girl I always had that fantasy of a big family. You know lots of talented kids performing and just having fun. Dinners each and every night together talking about our day and just enjoying life together. However, this fantasy in my mind died.

The sounds of that big family just became to much for me. I remember sitting in the doctors office 2 months before we found out we would be expecting yet another bundle of joy in tears because I felt I just couldn't be Super Mom anymore and raise these kids.

 The amazing thing about this is that what I didn't know is that God saw me differently. He knew exactly what His plan was about in unfold in our lives. He knew I could do way more than I ever imagined. For some crazy reason He knew one more baby boy was exactly what our family needed to be complete and made new. He knew that starting over was going to be more amazing than any of us ever imagined it to be. HE KNOWS IT ALL!!!

For the past 2 weeks as I have looked in to these deep baby blue eyes I have once again been mesmerized by our awesome Creator.
   
       Psalm 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I        praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that          full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was            woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days                    ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Did you catch what that verse said? All our day's are ordained and written before they ever come to be! STUNNING! I've cried many tears of joy the past 2 weeks as I have looked at our precious Cash and seen just how amazing our kids are with him. I have asked for forgiveness over and over for my negativity and doubt in my awesome Creator. I know full well it will not always be an easy journey as a Mom of 5, but I am fully believing this truly was and is God's plan and He will remain in control. He will continue gluing this family together in ways we never imagined. We have to believe and have faith in Him and His plans.

I am not a mom that sits well. I am up and going at all times. My mind races just as fast as my legs run, but God has opened my eyes and helped me to see just how much I need to slow down. I need to embrace not just baby Cash, but each one of these kids. Our time really does go fast and although in different seasons we are ready to rush through it God takes moments like these to stop us and show us His blessings. If I could give one piece of advice that God has pressed upon me lately, it is to STOP, BREATHE, and ENJOY HIM! Enjoy all the many blessings He has given us. I will tell you something, once you truly stop and enjoy you will be overwhelmed by the Peace that God gives!