This time it was different...
This time a new smile landed on my face...
This time my heart felt complete...
You see, for so long our Princess has had the desperate need to be the "same."
Many do not understand what I mean by this.
Adoption is an amazing thing. Not an easy thing, but amazing. For some they are the "same" from day 1. They don't know their life any different. They don't know any other parents or siblings. They don't know any other rules. They are in each and every family picture. They have never gone with out. They have never been left alone. They have known and felt that family love from the beginning.
Sadly though. Many do not have those feelings from day 1. It's a hard thing to accept and grasp on to not only for these kids, but for the families trying to love and care for them as well.
Our Princess has known other parents. She has known other siblings. Sadly, she has been left alone. She has gone without. She has controlled most things in her life and hasn't had that love and acceptance from day 1.
People....This is the hardest most frustrating thing to see.
When you sit and look at your kids each and every night count your blessings because until you have fostered and adopted you do not realize just how lucky you are.
For us, we have seen many tears cried because she is not in family pictures. She has even asked us why we didn't save her and come get her for them. For the longest times she could tell you just where each and every picture of her was in the house. She screamed and cried because she so desperately wanted to be the "same." She has told us very many sad and scary stories of her past. She has asked over and over why her name tag didn't match the boys or even why they spelled her name wrong. Sure, she understands more than we think, but she didn't deserve this reality of being different.
The hardest thing as a parent is knowing that we cannot take her past away. We may never know or fully understand just what she has been through or what has happened.
Parents could you imagine these feelings with your babies?????
Thankfully though we have been able to adopt her. She is the "same" and to her having the same name and seeing it the same makes her feel complete.
No more do we have to try and hide things that have a different name on them. No longer do we have to whisper at doctor appointments when we are checking her in with a different name. SHE IS OURS FOREVER! SHE IS FOREVER A BROWN!
Seeing this peace of mail was refreshing. Sure, she will eventually have lots of questions that we will have to answer, but for now we are enjoying loving her. Enjoying providing for her. Enjoying giving her safety and security, something she hasn't felt for so long. Enjoying making her feel complete and whole and the "same!"
Parents embrace your kiddos. Be thankful for all you have.
We are trying to put piece by piece back and it is not easy, but because we are being obedient to God in this calling for our family, we rest assured piece by piece she will be made new again. God gets the glory for all and we are forever thankful He placed her in our lives. That we can give her the family and the "sameness" she so desperately needs and deserves.
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