"A Terrible MOM"

To the Grandma who called me "A Terrible Mom,"

For the past week I have replayed your words to me over and over. I can see your face and I can feel your anger as you yelled, "YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MOM." I was honestly completely caught off guard and taken away by those hurtful words. I can't explain just how bad that pierced my heart and has made me really look at myself negatively.

I have found myself examining my every word and my every move and for that I want to say to you, THANK YOU!

Being a mom of 5 is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but yet it too has been one of the most rewarding things. Never could I have ever imagined loving these 5 faces as much as do. They frustrate me on a daily basis. They overwhelm me many times a day. BUT, they make me smile, laugh, and love myself MORE!

Last week I watched my son being disrespectful to authority over and over. To me, that will NEVER be okay. I watched him "TRY," as you said to me hit that ball very far and hard. If you listened closely I hollered and cheered very loudly for his great hit and effort. However, that effort and "TRYING," turned again into disrespect and defiance toward his coach, his authority at that time.

 I heard his coach holler at him over and over to stop. I saw my child make eye contact with him over and over as he stopped, then decided to continue on. Due to his decision to not listen to his coach, who was only trying to help him to become better at this sport, he got tagged out at home and fell down.

If my child was truly hurt he would have gotten my sympathy. BUT, my child was not hurt physically. My child's pride was hurt and for that when I told him, " I don't feel sorry for you," I do not apologize for.

I have NEVER proclaimed to be the best mom or a perfect mom. In fact, I am I guess what you consider a "TERRIBLE MOM." I expect a lot out of my kids. I expect them to be respectful to authority and respectful to their peers. I expect them to be kind to others and to love them regardless of the differences. I expect them to fall short and I expect them to disobey me. But, that does not change my unconditional love for them and because of that love there are consequences to behavior.

I am not my kids best friend. I am their MOM, the one who teaches them to respect and be better. The one who explains why I say the things I do at times and the one who too has to apologize over and over for hurtful things and ask for their forgiveness when I have overstepped. I too fall short.

My child did not get my sympathy last week for being disrespectful to authority and never will.

So, thank you again for helping me to see just how important not only are my words to my children, but also thank you for again showing me I am only trying to teach them what God's Word tells us to teach.

Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and mother.
1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, you are younger, be subject to authority.
Hebrews 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to them.
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice, and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.

That night my child not only apologized to his coach for his behavior, but also to me, his MOM. We talked about the importance of respect toward authority. We talked about the importance of being on a team. We talked about how our teammates count on us to listen and do the best we can for them, not ourselves. We talked about what God tells us to do. I told my child over and over just how much I loved him. We thanked God together for his talent and asked God to help him to always use it for His glory alone. I explained my words to him and apologized if it hurt his feelings, but again assured him the disrespect is never okay.

Thank you Grandma for making me see what I have been called to do.

Sincerely,
The Terrible Mom